It is well.

It is well with my soul, she said
As negativity simmered in her head
Derived from conversations both cold and hot
Conclusion-less arguments more often than not

It is well, oh, it is well
She whispered as the tears fell
What could be done? How much can she take?
What difference, if any, did her attempts make?

Are you at all well, oh dear soul?
Life indeed has taken its toll
A declaration of the soul's welfare
Destroyed to its core, stripped completely bare

It is well with my soul? As if!
To have a soul at this point was a gift
Please be well, soul, please be free
What was a statement became a desperate, helpless plea.

Oh dear soul, it is well indeed.

Sleep.

Like a threat of the day's end
Darkness and shadows loom
The bed creaks, the blanket shifts
As the child lays in her room
Whimpering and trembling
Sobbing in fear
"I don't want to sleep,"
says the child, as a tear
Slips down her cheek quietly
She tries to keep her eyes closed
And eventually drifts off, oblivious
To all monsters and ghosts

Years down the road, she's not afraid
Of sleeping all alone
However a scarier thing has appeared
A teenager's pleasure: her phone
Ghosts and monsters don't exist
She's not afraid anymore
But she's enslaved by the screen in her hand
Once she closes her door
The tweets, statuses, endless loops
Of the six-second moving picture
She's sucked in and her phone has become
A deadly, permanent fixture
"I don't want to sleep,"
says the teen, as tears start to come
From her blood-shot eyes that have yet to blink
Cramped is her right thumb
Scrolling continuously on a screen
That steals her precious sleep
She's sleep-deprived and knows her mistake
But cyberspace is just too deep
A black hole, a vaccuum,
a constant distraction
A questionable force
with too strong of an attraction
"Stop, stop, stop," she thinks
"I'll sleep after this one..."
An hour later: "I'll stop right here
Just one more, and I'm done"

twenty-sixteen goals.

I was never one to set resolutions. The New Year was always a huge deal about upping in age, because, for some reason, age mattered a lot to me. As a student, New Year always brought about much excitement for starting a new school year (I love school, for real). But 2015 has been nothing but a year of changes, growing up, maturing and handling larger things. And because of that, I felt like I was ready to take on some challenges, although seemingly common and boring, for 2016.

Resolutions are strange things. They're somehow only implemented at the beginning of each new year. If people were as gungho about bettering themselves throughout the year, the world would be in a much better place. Imagine how packed gyms would be, how well health food restaurants would be doing and how much knowledge will be gained if people created resolutions all throughout the year. Better in regular intervals than only once a year, right? 

Without further ado, for the first time ever, check out my resolutions for 2016!

1. Run/jog/walk 6km a week.

Obviously it's not going to be six whole kilometers in one go (what are you, crazy?). Splitting them up into two or three sessions will make good use of the dusty treadmill that's decomposing at home. I'm implementing this in hopes of seeing my stamina improve. Just for once I'd like to climb a flight of stairs without panting, feeling dizzy or having jelly legs.

2. Read one book a month.

With a backlog of over seventy books from January 2015's Big Bad Wolf haul, I feel the bookshelf screaming at me, feeling untouched and neglected. The new and perfect book spines jeer at my busyness while the well-thumbed books from my childhood shout encouraging words to the new arrivals: "Don't worry! She'll read you soon. Just hang in there." The unread books feel skeptical. Does Jessica really have that much of a love for reading as all her childhood books claim?

3. Take my violin exam.

After three whole years of music education without exams, I suddenly missed having to prepare to play for an intimidating examiner from the land of Queen Elizabeth. I missed the horror of squeaking out a wrong note in the incredibly soundproofed hotel room. I missed the examiner's seemingly neutral face that tried its best to hide her disappointment. I missed scrabbling for notes in the sight-reading tests and singing slightly off-pitch for the aural tests. But most of all, I missed the satisfaction of knowing that my efforts in upgrading my musical abilities have been recorded momentously on a certificate with golden script. So this year, no matter what, I will take my violin exam and put the qualification to good use. Hopefully.

Signing off,

Jessica Chen

(6th January 2016)

Celebrate.

Every person's life needs more celebration in the little moments. We celebrate birthdays, graduation, marriages, and all of life's big days, but have we forgotten to jump for joy at the smallest of victories?

Being a children's teacher gives tons of experience with celebrating the little triumphs. There's high-fives all around, the ever-so-encouraging 'great job!' and of course the universal cheer and pat on the back. Smiles are everywhere. The kids are pushed on to do their best, so every little thing counts. 

There's so many little things worth celebrating when in a classroom of young children. When a child completes his first ever jigsaw puzzle without any help. When a child finishes the first book in the reader series. When a little girl learns to tie her own shoes. When the boy with special needs says 'good morning' without prompt. When the kids clean up after themselves during snack time. Victories, victories everywhere. 

It just reminds us how often we overlook all the amazing things that happen to us every day. Instead, we complain, we grumble, we fume over the little issues that upset us. We stress out over all our responsibilities and break down under the immense pressures of school or work. We forget that just like these kids, we too can find joys in life that are worth celebrating. We forget that these small celebrations are what makes a a good day. 

Every day, it has become a habit for me to pick out every little good thing and celebrate it. When you see your loved ones laugh. When a corny pun is shared. When inside jokes are created. When you overcome your fear of cockroaches. When you discover money in the pocket of the jeans you wore last week. When you learn something new about a friend. When ideas are exchanged. When you wake up healthy, alive and well. When you realise that tons of people are still loving you, are friends with you and care for you no matter how rotten you feel. 

You know, perhaps good days are not too far off. 

// Have a blessed thanksgiving! :)

Happy Birthday, Mummy!

Today, years ago, a little being came into this world not knowing the blessings she would soon bring. Years later she got married and became the mother of a person who likes writing about the people she loves, and that person is, obviously, me.

My mother is cheerful. Her smile beams at new friends, old friends, anyone at all. Her eyes crinkle in a jolly manner, laugh lines crease to show just how much she smiles. Old friends recognize her melodious laugh a mile away, a laugh with no pretense; a laugh that only displays her tremendous sense of humour and light-heartedness. Her face glows radiantly in pure joy when she does the thing she loves most, teaching.

My mother is a teacher. She carries about an authority that children respect within minutes of acquaintance. She has a firm, strong voice that warns a child who has crossed the line. Her flair of teaching has impacted many children who have excelled in their future studying endeavors. She is strict and makes sure her students know where she stands. But she does all this in love for her dear students, because when she dishes out a good ol' scolding, the twinkle in her eye speaks otherwise. Her children feel warm and safe in her bear hugs, and feel reassured by her calm, encouraging words. She knows when to be serious and when to have fun.

My mother is a servant. Her willing heart goes all out to help those in need, without expecting the tiniest return. She serves in ministry, from her teenage years till now, making differences big and small in people's lives. She is quick to forgive and has always taught us the great damage of a grudge. It is because of this important value that our family never holds grudges against one another.

My mother is an artist. She can create beautiful masterpieces from pieces of almost-nothing. She paints stories with a colourful tone in her voice and animated gestures with her face and hands. She crafts out things that are just so attractive with mere paper. She can draw with steady, firm strokes of her practiced hand. Her art pieces are breathtaking, whether it's a contemporary fashion piece, or a work of children's art.

My mother is a doctor. Of course, as every mother does, she bandages, fixes wounds, cleans and treats us when we're ill. But that's not all. She speaks with wisdom and experience to heal the wounds that cut our hearts. She knows just what to say to sooth the anxiety that disturbs our souls. She will stay up all night just to make sure I fall asleep after I pour out all the little things that have been bugging me. She is a doctor not just for the body, but for the mind and the heart.

My mother is... my mother. She's human and she has her falls, but there is no one I'd rather have as a mom but her. I am forever grateful for the things she has taught me, for the way she has raised me and for the words she has said to me. Mummy, I appreciate every single thing you have ever done for me. You help me to see the world differently and I owe it all to you. Thank you for guiding me in the way of the Lord, and I hope I make you proud with the way I live my life.

I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful birthday. To many more birthdays!

Mum's Birthday Celebration 2015

Saturday, 17 October

Surprised my mother together with her girlfriend gang (wow, that's a term I'll try not to use ever again) at Krathong, Sri Petaling.

Sunday, 18 October

Went out for our little family celebration at night! As usual, lots of fun, laughter, interesting conversations and good vibes.

A satisfying dinner at Fatty Crab.
On the menu: Sour and spicy crab; steamed crab; toast; fried rice; satay; chicken wings. 

And while we were in the mood for celebration, we finished off our feasting time at Inside Scoop.
On the menu: Chocolate Cookie Dough; D24 (durian); Peanut Butter Cup.

Hope you enjoyed your gift, mummy!
This is my mother for you; no jewelry, decorative items, flowers, makeup...
Get her practical, everyday-use items and she will be happiest.
She fell in love with this rugged backpack! (So did I, mum. So did I.)

Once again, happy birthday! Love you. :)