Period-shaming.

A recent post about a free-bleeding woman running a marathon has been viral. People everywhere are sharing this post all over their social media pages, and there has been mostly positive, encouraging words like, "Wow, she's so brave!" or "That's right! There is nothing to be shameful about periods."

First off, let me establish here that period-shaming is ultimately disgusting and uncivilized. The menstrual cycle is proof that women have an important process going on in their bodies to enable reproduction to happen. This in itself shows that women are, in fact, powerful and should therefore not be shamed for having periods.

Things like carrying sanitary pads/tampons or even mentioning the word 'period' can cause social discomfort, not to mention seeing a blood stain on the back of a girl's pants being completely taboo. This is all caused by culture. Periods should not be an embarrassing issue. The symptoms of PMS have been joked about: jokes about infamous mood swings are the ultimate stab at a girl's femininity. These are all unnecessary and totally uncalled for, but this is culture and that's how things are.

The weirdest thing, though, is the fact that free-bleeding is now a thing. Has feminism reached a point where a stand can only be made by jeopardizing your own hygiene? Is it really necessary to run a marathon, in full view, while bleeding through your pants? I see the good intentions, but I don't agree with the execution. Do you not feel uncomfortable? Doesn't it feel like you're wetting your pants? Okay, maybe you are truly daring enough to televise your courageous act, but have you not forgotten why women's hygiene supplies were invented in the first place? There are many women in third-world countries who are extremely grateful for the reusable pads they receive from healthcare organisations, and here you are, bleeding freely?

It makes me sound closed-minded and probably quite ignorant, but I see the free-bleeding movement as unnecessary. Not only does it put your own health at risk, it also soils public hygiene. I mean, what's the point of having clean chairs when all you're gonna do is bleed all over it? Doesn't sound too great to me.

Once again, let me say that period-shaming is offensive, degrading and pointless. But if you want to take a stand against it, preserve your own dignity, please. And don't dirty the chairs.

Hanging Out with Guys vs. with Girls

Recently going out with a bunch of just guys gave me a whole new experience of 'hanging out'. Usually going out in mixed-gender groups or all-girl groups, it did feel a little strange at first. Maybe these differences don't apply to all of guy groups, but this was what I observed.

1. Manner of Speech
Girls obviously have higher pitched voices, but this seems to correlate with the speed at which they talk. Girls talk fast, whereas guys have a more chill and relaxed manner of talking. Guys, when excited about anything, still talk much slower than girls. Girls are just all over the place, talking about this, that, and in a group, five different things could be going on at once. With guys, one person talks, everyone listens. With girls, three people talk, and nobody listens. If you're lucky, the quiet girl of the group will listen to the jabber and smile with acknowledgement. Which leads me to the next difference...

2. Length of Conversation
Guys can linger on one topic for ages, but girls drift from conversation to conversation, with several people, until they find one that everyone can contribute to, which then makes it the longest and deepest conversational topic. It's tiring sometimes to be at a table with girls because once you have something to say, conversation shifts and suddenly nobody talks about the thing you wanted to say. Inside your head you're just like, 'But... I had a thing going on.' *cries inwardly*

3. Size of Travelling Herd
Ah, this. The classic 'girls travel in packs' dig. With girls, it's part of the code of conduct to raise a question of 'Anybody wants to go to the toilet?' to the others. And even if nobody else needs to go, somehow it's ethical to go in at least a group of three. ('It's ok la, I'll go with you.') I can't count the many times I've been to the toilet with girlfriends, just to stand outside, next to the paper towel dispenser, and wait for them to be done. But with guys? You want to go toilet, then you go toilet. Ain't nobody gonna follow you for moral support.

4. Shopping
Guys shop with a mission. They want to get food? They visit the food court. They want a drink? They drop by a beverage bar. They want to find a specific item of clothing? They tackle only the shops that they know will have the item. Girls, on the other hand, may say they want a new pair of jeans, but more often than not, I find the girls wandering in stationery shops, the accessories store, the grocery department, an ice-cream kiosk and five hundred clothing stores. After this long, drawn-out adventure, the girl who just now declared that she needed a new pair of jeans ends up empty handed, but everyone else has a new pencil holder, three pairs of earrings (only RM10!), grapes for the family, a cup of ice-cream (mango & chocolate), and possibly that cute floral print dress from H&M. Girl time!

5. Photo-taking
This has become such a ritual, almost, among girls, that it felt like something was missing when I was with the guys. I never initiate a photo-taking session when I'm with friends (mostly because I'm just lazy), but I always end up taking the photo (selfie-style) just because I have 'long arms'. We could well be eating our pasta in a nice restaurant and somebody will yell out of the blue, 'Snapchat!' Everyone will then automatically turn to the person who yelled, and make a face or smile at the smartphone. Naturally. Just before we leave the venue, or just before one of the girls go home, we'll be sure to take a nice group photo, preferably with an iconic statue that the mall has or with nice decorations pertaining to the season. That photo will be our 'official' photo of the day, and this will go up on at least half of the girls' Instagram accounts. With guys, this doesn't happen! Almost 4 hours of being in the same place, doing the same things, and no mention of a photo. Only after we played a game at the mall did we take a photo, which wasn't our idea anyway; it was a procedure that the staff-in-charge had to carry out. So there we were, taking a photo that wasn't even saved in our phones, and we had to wait for it to be out on the game outlet's Facebook page if we really wanted to see it/re-upload it. But honestly, I doubt that's going to happen.

*****

Being with girls and being with guys is clearly a different experience, but it's fun either way. I wrote this to take a jab at society and how things just are, and I did not write this to offend or insult any particular person. I thought it would be a laugh to write out some differences we all know too well, and I hope some of these were relatable. *winks*

To God; for Grandma.

Dear God;

You are healer

for it is this healing from Your own wounds

that allows her wounds to heal

it is this healing

that gets her heart beating

it is this healing

that lets her blood flow

and it is this healing

that helps her breathe once again

You are protector

for it is this protection

that saves her from the grasp of evil

it is this protection

that covers her body with immunity

and it is this protection

that hovers over her frailness

You are peace

for it is this peace

that calms her anxious soul

it is this peace

that accompanies her through the nights

it is this peace

that allows her to smile

and it is this peace

that makes her loved ones feel secure

You are provider

for it is this provision

that pays for what she needs

it is this provision

that eradicates the fear of the dollar sign

and it is this provision

that ensures there is no anxiety of debt

You are strength

for it is this strength

that guides her way to recovery

it is this strength

that supports her when she sits up

it is this strength

that lifts her up to take her first steps

and it is this strength

that gives her the courage to trust

You are joy

for it is this joy

that puts the smile on her face

it is this joy

that her family brings into the room

it is this joy

that allows her to tell stories like she used to

and it is this joy

that enables her brave spirit to never be dampened

And most importantly:

You are love

for it is this love

that fills her heart and soul

it is this love

that her children unconditionally give

it is this love

that brings joy, strength, peace

and it is this love

that provides, protects and heals

Dear God,

thank You for never leaving Grandma's side

and I hope, someday, she will never leave Yours

In Jesus' most powerful Name I pray;

Amen.

On Behalf of All Music Teachers

Dear parents:

Your child goes to school for at least 6 hours each weekday. That's physical, mental and emotional exhaustion from absorbing information, facing teachers, playing with friends, joining activities. 

After school, your child attends tuition classes for the next 4 hours. BM, English, math, and what not. 

But oh, your child needs to cultivate their hidden talent and learn to appreciate the arts. Hence, dance classes, art & craft, robotics. 

BUT WAIT! I need some qualifications and certificates for my child to show that he/she is actively upgrading themselves throughout the years! LET'S ENROLL HIM/HER FOR MUSIC LESSONS!

And it all goes downhill from there. 

Excuse me, but the last time I checked, I was well tired out after a long day at school. Give me extra classes once a week on Saturdays or something, that's cool; maybe my math really sucks and I desperately need some help. 

However when it comes to signing your child up for music lessons with the expectations of stage performances, distinctions in exams and producing prodigies, please think before hand. They ask, "how come my child isn't progressing?" Please, I'm the teacher and I want them to progress as badly as you do, dear parent. 

Music, unlike any other "class" that you signed your exhausted child up for, requires tons of practice FROM THE START. I don't care if your child is Level 1, classical piano; he's gonna need all the discipline and practice that he can get. And there's nothing more saddening than hearing this after asking them if they've practiced: "Teacher, I got no time. Every day tuition until 7 o'clock. Come back home then dinner and bath. Need to do homework some more. Then need to sleep already. How to practice?"

Parents, if you're gonna sign your child up for a music class... Give them enough time to practice, and make sure you understand that kids are just like you; their energy levels can deplete, and hence, their concentration. 

Help us help you help your kid. 

the hospital

The vinyl floor shines, the walls are bare

Labels and number signs everywhere

Smells of disinfectant fill the air

Sounds of gentle assurance and care

Wheels squeak, people whisper, machines beep

Behind the doors hearts ache and weep

Tubes and things decorate the beds

As screens show numbers in greens and reds

Nurses move briskly in spotless white

Patients on beds as they bravely fight

Whatever the sickness, whatever the pain

Needles and pills, again and again

Families gather around a loved one

Crying inside as their hearts weigh a ton

The walls hear prayers never more sincere

A child holds mum's trembling hand in fear

Feverish, faint, fuddled and frail

Eyes ringed with shadows and faces pale

Threatened by Death's gruesome face

Only cured by medicine and saved by grace