Why I Write

I wrote for school essays and tried my luck at writing competitions once or twice. I have tried keeping a journal, to no avail. My old blogs boasted lame reports about daily life and totally random, insignificant content. Friends were writing letters and cards during Christmas or for birthdays, but it has never been a part of my nature to do so. There have been feeble attempts at writing novels, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends, but obviously nothing has been completed, let alone published.

And this is where I find myself questioning my long-lasting passion for writing. I have been discouraged way too many times; I compare myself to better writers who are the same age or even younger, and envy their talent. I don't even have the drive to complete short stories to compile into one book. I can barely keep my blog alive with interesting content, and yet I keep coming back to write just because I want to. 

So why do I write? What is it about this dying art that pulls me back every time? 

I love writing. I love the way words can tug at somebody's emotions. It amazes me how black ink on white paper in a variety of shapes and squiggles can move a person to tears, uplift a depressed teenager, bring giggles out of a child. I like how certain words roll of my tongue when strung together, and I like how certain words look. And I love how words can be pulled and twisted into rhythm and rhyme.

Writing calms me. It clears the mess that lingers in my brain after an emotionally disturbing incident. It helps me comb out the irritating tangles in life and sorts the mental haystack into piles, making the search for the needle infinitely easier. My mind likes using words to solidify my thoughts and dreams. Life becomes clearer when predicaments become paragraphs.

People ask me why my blog posts tend to be about emotionally negative subjects, referring to the more-viewed posts 'Jealousy' and 'Shedding Tears'. It is because these concepts that encircle my train of thought affect me deeply and it is only writing that helps me be rid of it. Writing sets things in perspective and conveys a message to my confused self. It is through much of these posts that help my mind be at peace about topics such as these.

Stories are great. Stories are little time capsules that may or may not be make-believe, but remind you of a time when a certain thing could've happened. I look back at my little stories (mostly incomplete, mind you), and am immediately transported to how my 8-year-old self felt when the story was penciled. I see my large, neat handwriting on the lined exercise book labeled 'Compositions - English class' and smile to myself. The story is immature, has a thin plot, and a little ridiculous. But it made 8-year-old Jessica the person she is today, the person who is now in love with writing. 

The art of writing is a complex one. It can be judged, as 'good' writing or 'bad' writing, although that is entirely subjective. It is fascinating how people can be drawn to different writing styles and hate others, while some styles are loved by everyone or by none at all. It is fascinating how a children's book with the simplest words can leave a bigger impression on the soul than a learned scholar's bombastically-worded thesis. It is fascinating how certain words are almost always found in a specific genre and not found at all in another. Writing, in its purest form, fascinates me.

I find my voice when I write. I become the person I want to be, without having to conform to what people think. My thoughts pour out in their rawest form, without filter, without waiting for society's approval. I like knowing that there are people who support my writing and read my published works (specifically, this blog), because it gives me something to be confident about. I especially love it when people tell me that they enjoy my writing, or, even better, discuss my writing with me. Let it be known that it pleases me immensely when people introduce me as a person who writes, because that is an honour that not many achieve: the title of being a 'writer'. People can put words together, people can tell stories, but to be a writer? Man, that's something.

Last but not least, writing is my worship. Writing is a channel to my Creator that I am truly glad to have. Writing prayers and poetry to my God is a way of worship that is so very personal and heartfelt. It is something even the spoken word cannot really express, because there's something about the written word that officiates the intentions behind the prayer. Writing reflects the way one thinks, and it is sometimes through the words that flow from the pen that speak to my very own self, forcing me to pause and think. It puts things down in black and white, giving one the chance to look back on it sometime in the future, and reflect on how things have changed and how one has grown. 

And it is with this I praise God for writing, because without it, I would be very, very different.