I never believed them.
Friendship was a big thing while growing up. I was always craving the attention of certain people, the 'cool' ones. A massive punch of rejection hits me every time I try out a joke and the said 'cool' people do not laugh. I feel unwanted when said people do not say hi as they walk by. Insecurities creep in when I'm not invited to a certain birthday party. I was jealous.
Academically, I had a less than difficult time achieving good results. I wasn't satisfied with those things. People I knew could do so much more. Public speaking, business enterprise, social activism, music and writing were all interesting passions of others, but all I could do was get a good looking report card. That's how I felt throughout my primary and secondary school years.
Unlike every other prepubescent girl, I took a little while to start being concerned about how I looked. Friends who grew up with me would know I couldn't care less about makeup, nail polish, accessories and clothes. It was only a year or two ago when I started being conscious about my clothing choices and everything else appearance-related. I would compare to the friends who have already started lining their eyes and trimming their brows, picking out dresses and dressing like Tumblr girls. I would watch and wait cluelessly while they shopped, staying in fitting rooms for what seemed like hours and exclaiming over tubes of mascara. I didn't get it, and I felt incredibly lame because it was like I lacked some hormone that gave girls the urge to look good.
Around the same time, I started taking my music a little more seriously than just attending weekly classes and getting daily prods from my mom to practice. I started serving as a musician in the worship band at church. I took an interest in YouTube cover artists and watched gig performers with much fascination, and feeling inadequate at the same time. Every time I stood behind the keyboard, an odd sense of 'I'm gonna screw up' will fight the little self-confidence I had and actually cause me to mess up. I gave a half-hearted attempt at making covers, and didn't stick to it. Again, I was 'not good enough'.
But you know what? I have come to terms with my 'not good enough'-ness. I have come to realise that in life there is always going to be someone better, someone more qualified, someone more talented. It's how you respond to it that makes your character unique. I've learnt to stop all that envy and insecurity by changing my attitude and having an open mind about things. I learn to learn.
As I grew up, I learnt that friends who actually take the effort to make you feel loved are those who are important, not the ones who make you love them. Appreciate and cherish those who love you, and surround yourself with positivity. Popular people don't need your love. Spend your love on people who are worth it instead.
Obviously I was foolish enough to be ungrateful for my pretty good grades. But what's more important was that I didn't need to feel lame next to people with fascinating interests. All I needed to do was talk to these people more often, learn from them, expand horizons, and never forget to cultivate your own interests too, which, in my case, was music and writing.
Nice clothes, makeup, accessories are all optional. If you like it, wear it. If you don't, don't wear it. No one's going to hate on you just because you refuse to wear a dress. Trust me, I know. (winks) Use those shopping trips to get to know your girlfriends! Nobody says you actually have to try on clothes when you go shopping... but I do know for sure that it's a good time to have a few laughs with your closest buddies.
Last but not least, I can say that I've been greatly blessed with a family who loves music, talented musician friends, and the opportunities that I got to experience that allowed me to meet other musicians. My musical talent has been given graciously to me by God, and I shouldn't taint that with envy of greater talent. In fact, jealousy is completely gone once I start to be inspired by those who are much more talented than I am, and they have spurred me on to work harder, practice more and enjoy the whole process. Music isn't something you force, and I've learnt that the hard way.
The lesson to conclude this is this. Don't be jealous. Learn and be inspired.